Sorry to bore you all (if anyone actually reads my blog) but this is sort of my journal and I have to play catch up!!! my baby will be one on the 18th. I am going insane! where did the time go? it feels like yesterday we were just finding out we were pregnant! then 9 months flew by in no time and now ONE YEAR?! now I understand what my parents always said about us growing too fast. I have recorded most landmarks mind you not in any organized manner. I have stickies and scrap pieces of paper lying around with notes and some on my calendar and some on my computer and now some on my blog! but, it's better than nothing. I'm going to start from the moment my baby was born. (Just some random thoughts). Well... I remember thinking as I was holding him for the first time that I loved him so much. He was staring up at me with his little swollen face and eyes and his hair was wet and curled up and he totally melted my heart. I remember exclaiming "aw I love him!" to my mom and mom in law and they were like... yep, that's a good thing! I loved his meekness too. He had to have an internal monitor because his heart rate was low and it tore a chunk of hair and skin off his head and I saw the piece of hair laying on the towel by his neck and asked the nurse if it was normal. I was so perturbed. He didn't cry like AT ALL. When he did, it was the cutest sound that melted my little heart, like a little baby lamb. The nurse thought he may have fluid in his lungs so was trying to make him cry. For this I was furious and he did cry a little but just the tiny lamb cry. My poor babe. Then I was wheeled to my room and Tim and my babe went off to the nursery. I remember sitting with my family (after waiting a while) and aching to see him. It was such a wierd feeling to not be together and attached anymore and I felt so alone! I was getting quite antsy when Tim appeared around the corner wheeling the angel. Yay! He was red and toasty warm from the heat lamps and had the funniest and ugliest orange and brown knit hat.
I asked Tim to stay the night with me and we switched to a private room. Tim was gone in half a second and didn't arise until the morning despite my attempts at calling him for help to change the baby, bring him to me etc. (oh husbands!) I remember he didn't feed well... but I'll save those details, eventually everything was fine. But he did eat a little and I set him down and any time he would make a noise I felt a weird need to reassure him and say "mommy's here". Well one time I woke to check on him and he was spitting up and seemingly choking on it and I flipped out as I had completely forgotten to burp him. I remember thinking how could I forget, what kind of mother am I?! so then I was freaked out and slept with him in my arms all night (waking up every half hour or so) and staying in a super light sleep so I didn't drop him.
His lips would always move in o's and cute shapes and Tim and I would giggle at that. I also looooovvveeed his adorable little dimples he has right above his lips. They totally define him. I was in love with every part of him. He had hair on his legs too which I thought was extremely cute and some hair on his forehead which now is blond! heehee my little monkey.
Bringing him home was so fun. I loved being in my element with him. The first night the crib was not even set up yet (shame on us) so Tim set it up and we slept in the bed until he was done. He would eat about every 2 - 2 1/2 hours for almost exactly 15 minutes, it was kind of odd, the consistency!
I loved seeing him smile in his sleep... and cry in his sleep too which worried me but soon passed. He had black soft velvet hair and I remember thinking how beautiful he was with his little red lips and big blue eyes. Strangers would always comment and say "He's gorgeous"! or "beautiful little guy" those two phrases, all the time!
I loved when he started to smile. I would smile and say "ah sooo cuuuute!" and he'd have a huge grin--- and when he started talking and squealing it was just adorable. He used to lay on the bed with me and just stare at the light (he has always loved lights) and talk to the light for like 10 minutes. It was so cute.
I also miss his kisses. He doesn't give those anymore :( He used to open mouth give us a sloppy sort of chomp which we thought he was just trying to eat us at first but soon discovered it was his way of kissing us! I LOVED it. Sometimes just randomly he would pull us in really hard by our ears or hair or face and lay one on us. I miss that...
well that's all for now. I need to sleep. sweet dreams of my angel!
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